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This Endless Midsummer // Your Brushfires

by UT Kirin

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1.
This Endless Midsummer 04:40
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Another night in Seattle In this endless midsummer Kinda drunk near UW She’ll feign interest while She thinks of her sister Out there somewhere On the Oregon coastline Been such a long time The last text was a double with no reply But there’s fish to fry Fly fishing by the lakeside cabin Fireside deep talks with friends Who are going through the real tough times So who are you to think You are entitled to a quarterlife crisis She tells the mirror inside Between her seventh glass of wine Nightmares Of falling asleep And then waking up at happy hour Age 23 Where all the people she sees Look like they work for McKinsey She would slaughter some kid’s pony If she knew it’d make her feel less empty And isn’t this just a wonderful city? The shades of green otherworldly And is her sister alive? But just prefers to be lonely? She wants to drive to the ocean And cut her forearms wide open Just to witness some crimson Color the landscape she broke in Is there a hotel room somewhere With a view of the street and a record player Where for a night with a debonair stranger She could play the lead in the favorite Romantic movie Of a lonely girl in an American city Steeped in nostalgic melancholy But at least there’s meaning At least she could feel something And she wants to be Swept off her feet In a way that she’s come to believe is imaginary Since the age of seventeen Now those direct deposits Her meaningless wallet Frequent flights to Hawaii And frightening nervous breakdowns on the beach Cause what is it she wanted? This ennui has followed her Leave it alone, leave me alone Leave me alone I’m lost and broken I’m in a coma I gotta get out of this life I’m gonna wake up and I’ll find That there are unseen colors beyond the spectrum There has to be cause I’m closing in on Knowing what pain is Singular Sharpened blade goes into abdomen Fuck me, this is real God it’s beautiful, it’s beautiful It’s beautiful, it’s beautiful
2.
Your Brushfires 02:34
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Woke up and you were gone again It’s the third time You keep asking me To run with you to your British Columbia And why do I keep saying yes to this I found you lying on the floor of the forest I know it’s the closest you get To being totally soulless No you don’t have to feel shit When you’re so deep in the trees When you scream that no one hears it And on the drive back to the stateline A subtle smile played on your eyes Cause you know you can’t outrun your brushfires But you’re still gonna try Well I guess I’m trying too And in the night The windows of your neighbors show scenes of life Why aren’t they swallowed up by wanderlust? Or when they look back are they envious of us? So tell me a lie, go for a ride I’m too drunk to fear it Sacrifice time for sacchrine highs that We didn’t need ’til I am lost And a long way from home But the stars will keep me company While the fire burns through my eyes And empties me of everything

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released September 21, 2023

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UT Kirin Austin, Texas

Bedroom indie rock project of one HR Huber-Rodriguez.

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