you'd never slept with anyone
you'd spent the night with carbon-based reactions
you liked the way the freshmen thought that I could understand them
how many times do I need to show up drunk at your room at two AM?
to convince you that I'm the mistake worth making
that there's no point to waiting
that we should be dating
aren't we just so romantic?
rolling, fighting, hooking up on the lawn
beneath the Louisiana live oaks
xx playing, we were crying, this is nineteen
I'm going through a phase where every thirty-six days I hate them all
I want to never try again, be one for one, what are the odds
I want you to never doubt my motives
though I admit I've never known them
buy me flannel, three years later I'll still wear it
say 'I love you', three years later I'll resent it
and for a brisk November I felt like a Kennedy (John F Kennedy)
conclusions written on your walls in post-it notes and memories
of Korean parents from the 90s
still is the night down in Texas, the back of our hands filled with x's
I can't mess this up
I'm juggling seven classes and trying to sort through my sister's collapses
and you're blasting me for promiscuity in the recent past tense?
I want to wait out the world alone from within your dorm room walls
please walk me home, just spend the night, don't sleep at all
and every time I wake up alone in your bed I'm not sure if my life
is naive or lucky or charmed
then your buzzing alarm
puts to pause my pillow thoughts on
who gave me authority to decide just who would fall for me?
to forgo all formalities?
to jump the hedges and run wild through Houston's streets
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